I am a bad blogger. I let too much time go by between posts for anyone to be interested in anything I have to say.  The only comments I get are from my boyfriend and ads for Porn Sites.  And even then the Porn Sites outnumber my boyfriend 10 to 1.

I think it is because my brain is a swirling vortex of ideas and blogging, even though it is a faster, less revised method of writing, just can’t keep up with constant drain and fill that goes on.  Yes, I am comparing my brain to a toilet.  The ideas come in, clutter up with paper and what-not, and before I can adequately flush them out onto the screen…WHOOSH… they’re sucked through the pipe and the bowl of my head is refilling with water, in wait of what-not.

I’ve tried many methods of getting my ideas into coherent form prior to the pipe-sucking oblivion, but sometimes all is just lost.  Tape recorders, big ones with the monster grates on the speaker to record every breath and snort, those plug in microphones that make me feel like singing “Danka schoen” before I can even begin to “write”, those little spy tape recorders that make me feel like secretly recording strangers’ conversations and using them as “found” poems, I even got voice activated soft ware so the computer could type what I said, but it didn’t recognize my Jersey accent and I wound up yelling at the computer: “Not NORK, NEWARK” and the like would type as “Not NORK, NORK,” But nothing really cut it.

By blogging I thought I could write pithy little ditties to get my brain working prior to writing my poetry.  Sort of a flexing of the writing muscle.  Blog as the warm-up stretch before the iron man race called poetry.  Now I’m finding myself blank about the blog.  Serves me right– I’m at the age where my metabolism is slowing down, I don’t really want to exercise, an extra five pounds sucks, but eh, I’ll worry about it in a few tomorrows.

What I need is to flip the switch– Get my metabolism working like the toilet of my brain to shed the 5 pounds of suck, and get the toilet to flush a bit slower, you know, let things settle until  tomorrow or maybe next week.

And yes, this is a metaphoric toilet– I  recommend  flushing your actual toilet regularly; not doing so really wouldn’t be helping anybody.